Archaeology is often said to be the handmaiden of history. (The Practical Archaeologist. J. McIntosh. Page 8.)
Doctor : I'm sorry. You'll never work again.
Patient : That's okay, I'm an archaeologist!
Two archaeologists were walking across a field when they came across some tracks.
'Those are the tracks of an old hunter-gatherer stalking a deer', said the prehistory specialist.
'Look like chariot wheels to me', said the Roman expert.
They were then run over by a train.
What sort of art do archaeologists like best?
Reaching the end of a job interview, the interviewer asked the young archaeologist, fresh out of university, 'and what starting salary were you looking for?'
Archaeologist : 'In the region of fifty thousand pounds, depending on the benefits package.'
Interviewer : 'Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks paid vacation, full medical and dental cover, retirement fund to fifty percent of salary and a company car leased every two years...say, a red porsche?'
The young archaeologist sat up straight and said, 'Wow, are you kidding?'
Interviewer : 'Certainly, but you started it.'
There are two rules to success in life:
1)Don't tell people everything you know.
Question : How do you keep an archaeologist in suspense?
Doctor to distressed patient : 'Well, it sounds to me like your life is in ruins.'
Patient, who has visibly cheered up : 'Really? Well, that's alright - I'm an archaeologist!'
Okay, and for our next trick...here's a limerick we came up with; the important question is...'can you do any better?!'
A depressed archaeologist in Siberia, Suffered from mild hysteria When he found on a dig A prehistoric pig, And now he couldn't be cheerier.
Think you could do better? E-mail us with your limericks and jokes (or cutting comments!)
© assemblage 1997