THE 'TIME TEAM' DRINKING GAME
A game that gives you a good reason to get drunk and argue about archaeology!
Assemble a group of mates in front of the TV just before 'Time team' begins. (Alternatively, video a few episodes and have a mammoth session; be warned, this may cause psychological damage.)
Make sure that all the necessary equipment is present. You will require:
- alcohol -- strong spirits have the best results, but beer is more authentic; (If you're feeling adventurous, why not join in with the 'Time team' by matching the alcohol to the period being investigated. You could even brew your own using traditional methods. This is interactive TV.)
- assorted snacks, mixers, and ice cubes (for sustenance and variety);
- archaeology reference books -- for research and refutation purposes.
Ensure that everyone is seated comfortably.
Everyone must have a drink to hand. Then, merely watch the programme, taking the required number of sips as events unfold!
Take 2 sips if:
- they open another trench.
- Tony Robinson interrupts someone else in the middle of a sentence or train of thought, or obviously isn't listening.
- resistivity meters or magnetometers are shown.
- people working feverishly on computers to no obvious end are shown.
- Tony steps into a recently cleaned trench.
- Phil frets until he is allowed to do some digging.
- volunteers and non-team members are seen trowelling.
- volunteers are seen using spades, mattocks or shovels.
- the historical re-enactment group are shown.
- sweeping generalisations are made.
- archives are shown or mentioned.
Take 3 sips if:
- the inflatable tent is used
- the local archaeologist is asked to comment on the excavation.
- 'Time team' members are seen digging.
- the historical re-enactment group recreate one of the artefacts found on site or otherwise associated with the dig.
- the geophysics results are amazingly clear and beautiful.
- we see the 'Time team' 'discussing the day's events' in a pub or round a fire (with alcohol).
- someone gets to go for a jolly in the helicopter.
- members of the public are involved in events at the site.
- celebrity guests attempt to dig or understand the archaeology.
- artefacts or costumes or the site are recreated in great detail on computer from a few fragments or ideas.
Take 5 sips if:
- anyone is shown planning or otherwise recording a trench or feature.
- any of the volunteer diggers is referred to or questioned.
- the preliminary summary of what they expect to find is proved to be completely wrong.
- any major questions are answered by the 3 days' excavation.
- any member of the team is dressed in 'traditional period costume' at some point in the programme.
- any of the team is injured, ill or incapacitated during the programme (hangovers count in this category).
- deturfing is done manually by members of the team.
- any exotic technique is used during the course of the excavation (eg diving, dowsing).
Take 7 sips if:
- the 'Time team' actually finish and backfill the site at the end of the programme.
- you see a context sheet at any point in the programme.
- Tony makes a valid point.
Extra points for 'Time team' live editions:
2 sips everytime:
- the screen goes black.
- anyone manages to finish a sentence (except Tony).
- they rush off to another area without satisfactorily explaining events at the first.
- main points are repeated during each programme.
- walkie-talkies do not work.
5 sips if:
- a camera manages to focus adequately on any mentioned find or feature.
7 sips if:
- you manage to access the web site.
Copyright © assemblage 1998